I marry many intercultural couples, such as B+D. Some are actually very interfaith or multifaith and incorporate a passage and rite from their respective traditions. In such cases, I use a spiritually non-denominational ceremony with the traditions most cherished by the couple incorporated. Others appreciate the rich cultural histories of their families, but prefer to a strictly non-religious ceremony with a quick “breaking of the glass” or 7-steps under the chuppah/mandap at the end. In fact, some of my couples come from very religious backgrounds and opt for a civil ceremony to prevent offending any family members. I even re-married a couple in an elopement ceremony (license and all) who had actually first married in the Clerk’s office with family: in that case, the bride regretted not wearing a beautiful sari with henna decorating her hands. The point, of course, is to prioritize. All decisions about the ceremony ultimately belong to the couple, and I will be their advocate. But if family will be irrevocably angry, perhaps inviting a family member to preside over a rite is a nice way to appease them.
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