Measuring the value of your wedding ceremony

During the wedding planning process, ideas float abundantly through every couple’s minds.  With so much diverse ephemera on the web, deciding on invitations, clothing, venues, photographers, videographers, shoes, and more becomes very difficult. If they elope, will the couple regret not inviting family and friends?  If they plan a large celebration, will the core meaning and intimacy of the marriage vows be lost?

I cannot make a choice for anyone.  But it is my job as a wedding officiant and caring human to gently remind everyone that the measurement of a wedding, especially the ceremony, dwells in its relevancy to the future.

When Liam and I married, nerves with excitement mixed together.  I recall joyously marrying without crowding or lines and happily consuming fabulous food with my new spouse after tying the knot with nine family members.

I remember only a line and concept from our personal vows.  Incidentally, both are rather traditional, which is curious, as we are not very orthodox by most standards.  I remember that I am supposed to be thankful and therefore loving, as well as to forbear quirks and therefore be faithful.

Other couples remember that they promised to try to be neater or not forget a birthday or to continue making the coffee each morning.

My advice to those baffled by planning a wedding and particularly the ceremony will appear mundane and limited.  It essentially comprises a suggestion to look forward.  In five, ten, or thirty years, about what will you reminisce?

It’s great that some weddings are funny and entertaining.  I do prefer to induce a shared smile at least once before I introduce a couple as married.  Still, I suspect they take away one or two sweet phrases and an overall feeling in the end.  Make those count.

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