Remaking the old: contemporary weddings

The beautiful flowers of one of my late winter brides

What’s wrong with a modern or contemporary marriage ceremony with personal vows?  Nothing at all.

About a third of my couples write personal vows or…or mix and match pieces they find on the internet.  Some even recite poetry or lyrics.  In most cases, I do not even see their vows before the wedding; instead, I use a simple question of intent to make sure I cover the legal bit. And then I introduce the couple’s personal vows.  These may express sugary romance, friendship, or sincere intimacy as the couple remarks upon eccentricities.  After all, the vows are the core, the “heart,” of the ceremony.  Every marriage ceremony must contain some form of consent, and the vast majority use a spoken promise to do so.

“N, pledging yourself to remain caring and loving, do you choose N., as you wife/husband/partner/companion and closest ally through tranquility and travail for the rest of your life?”

“Thank you for choosing me and for putting up with my quirks daily.  I appreciate everything about you.  I love the way your forehead crinkles, your silliness, dedication, and patience.  I promise to support you, to listen to you, and to comfort you in times of struggle and happiness.  I give you this ring as a symbol of my affection.  The circle is as endless as our friendship will be.”

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